Miniature Croquembouche in 1:12

For those who have been following my Instagram, here's what the little choux buns were destined for....

croquembouches! I've always wanted to make 'em but it just seemed a little like too much repetitive work. i was tempted to, but resisted counting the number of cream puffs that went into each tower. You know how when things just seem too daunting in the mind and never materialize due to that? No? Just me then? UNPOSSIBLE.

*snort*

aaaaanyways.

while thinking about how to decorate them, i had to first settle on a colour scheme. Much as I hate to admit it, I have finally fallen into pink this stage of my life. Having never been a 'girly-girl' (grandma has audibly noted several times the funereal theme of my wardrobe), this comes as quite a surprise to me. heck, even my new spectacle frames are a pale/translucent pink. the colour makes me look pale and sickly, which is a pretty accurate description of my physical state. of which i'll update later.

I also wanted to do a more classic version, at least, what i think is classic. Probably would prefer this one too, given my love for all things caramel. mmm my teeth ache just thinking about it. here's a medium version (will make smaller stacks once i sort out the hundred little itty bitty other things i have on my workspace)

AAAANDDDDDDDDDD a tall version. the only cream puffs i've really enjoyed are from Beard Papa, and really can't imagine it with a crunchy caramel coat. nmmmmmm. These miniature towers are pretty small, you can view more photos of them, and measurements, over on my Etsy store:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/snowfern

have also re-listed the charlotte cakes. please go have a look! Apologies for all the watermarking, i hate doing it, but lately a number of my photos have been used without my permission :( I'm super happy when people share my work but please please do credit me for them. a lot of work went into my creations, and usually this stuff doesn't quite bother me, but recently i was made to feel as if i were in the wrong to ask to be credited for my photo. which is absurd, doncha think? ah well.

PERSONAL CRAPPY STUFF HERE:

healthwise, i have finally gotten a diagnosis on why my monthlies have been increasingly painful, to the point the 'regular' painkillers don't work, leaving me in a sobbing heap for at least a week each month. Not just that, at least a week before the mess starts, i'm all moody and crabby, which to some might seem my regular temperament (hurhur) but it's just a pain to deal with. and then the week -after- the mess, i'm all unstable maybe due to painkiller withdrawals or fatigue from the debilitating pains. which leaves me just a week each month to catch up on minis and feeling 'regular'. and that's been going for the past year or so! PMS = perpetual monster syndrome it seems. so what is this that has been messing me up? Adenomyosis. given i'm still of childbearing age, late as it might seem, the gynae said if not for just that fact, he would suggest i go for a hysterectomy. oh and guess what, i'm one of the 10% of women who have endometriosis too. i always knew i was shpeshul. *smirk*

*heavy sighs*

well i've come to terms with all that. i know it's pretty personal stuff, and although i feel odd sharing it, i feel almost as if i had to explain myself, why i've turned down interviews, tv appearances, commissions etc...and the personal health stuff is just the least of what's going on at home. it's all scary, and anxiety levels are at an all-time high, but with the help of my bf and close friends, i'm actually coping quite well, all-things-considered. i hope the painkillers work, gonna start on a chinese medicine regime (bai feng wan?) and hope it doesn't clash with my heart meds. if else, would have to consider other options, and will delay the inevitable(?) for as long as possible. in some ways, there's also a sense of loss, for all the time and opportunities wasted due to this ailment, but there's also a sense of relief, where this is not just all in my mind. among other complex and unnecessary feelings and thoughts i have. grargh.

that was cathartic. thanks for reading. off to rest now, the wonky hip is aching badly from sitting here all day squinting at tiny buns LOL